I think something that all mamas want more than anything is to connect with their kids. Connecting with your kids is an essential part of building a strong and loving relationship. Here are some of the best ways to connect with your kids.
Spend Quality Time Together
I always make it a point to set aside dedicated time to spend with my kids. This means free from phone, TV, or anything that will distract me. Engage in activities that they enjoy, make them feel special. My kids love playing Uno, going to the park, baking cookies or playing bible trivia.
Listen Actively
Give your full attention when kids talk to you. Show them you are genuinely interested in what they have to say and validate their feelings. Avoid interrupting or dismissing their thoughts and emotions.
Dismissing Example:
daughter-Somebody stole my eraser
mom- Are you sure you didn’t lose it?
daughter- I didn’t. It was on my desk when I went to lunch!
Mom- You never know where you leave your stuff. You always lose everything.
daughter- Oh, leave me alone.
Mom- Dont talk to me like that.
Lets try to avoid questioning, blaming, or advising them.
Acknowledge Them Example:
Daughter- somebody stole my new red pencil
Mom- Oh no.
Daughter- I left on my desk when I went to lunch.
Mom- mmm, I wonder what happened to it.
Daughter- That’s the second time I’ve had something missing.
Mom- Uhh!
Daughter- I think that from now on I will not leave my stuff out. I will put them in my backpack.
Mom- I think that is a good idea.
This conversation expresses a caring attitude and it helps the child explore thoughts and feelings and ends up coming up with her own solution.
Show Affection
Physical touch, such as hugs, kisses, or holding hands releases oxytocin (what I call the happy juice). It is a powerful way to express love and connection. When my kids were younger they used to watch Daniel Tiger and we adapted Ugga Mugga from Daniel Tiger and his mom. If you have no idea what I’m talking about below is an example. Additionally, verbal expressions of affection such as saying I love you or giving compliments, can reinforce your bond. There is not a day that my kids don’t hear “I love you” from me.
Support Their Interest
Take an interest in your children’s hobbies and activities. My son loves soccer and my daughter is into ballet and gymnastics and I always try to attend soccer games and recitals. They genuinely see that I’m as excited about their interest as they are. I always encourage their passions and provide opportunities for them to pursue their interests.
Be present and available
Be emotionally and physically available for your kids. It’s important for me to listen, support, and guide them through their challenges. Be a reliable parent in your commitments. I always try to follow through in my promises.
Communicate openly
Have honest communication with your kids. I try to create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, concerns, and dreams. Remember to be a good listener and respond with empathy and understanding.
Teach and Learn Together
Engage in activities that promote learning and growth together. Read books, solve puzzles, explore nature, or engage in creative projects. This not only strengthens your bond but encourages a love for learning. My son and I have started a book club. We pick a book together and just talk about what we think of the characters and likes and dislikes.
Connecting with your kids is an ongoing process that requires time, and effort, and patience. Building a strong relationship takes consistency and a genuine desire to understand and support your kids.
